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Adults

Love Life 101

Dating can be hard at the best of times. It doesn’t matter who you are, some people are just unlucky with love. However, transgender people face so many problems when it comes to dating. Here’s a guide at how to ensure your relationship remains healthy and the dating experience can be as positive as possible.

Ensuring your partner or the person you’re seeing accepts you is key. If you are with someone that is with you and they use your gender dysphoria against you than put them in the trash. It is key to ensure that the person you are with is understanding and accepting of you and your journey. Make sure you are transparent with them about your gender journey and ensure everything is laid on the table at the very beginning.

Don’t rush – from my own experience, being trans can lead to being unlucky in love. Sometimes you might date people who have only ever been with one gender and being trans can sadly complicate things. If you have been unlucky then make sure that you put yourself first and don’t rush anything. Once you start to fully love yourself, then someone else will start to love you. If you still aren’t at a place of 100% acceptance, then any relationship won’t work no matter who it is with

Be sure to notice the signs of domestic abuse. 28% of trans people have experienced domestic abuse. It can be scary being a trans person and seeing these figures. So, make sure you’re alert and see how the person you are dating acts. If they start showing signs of aggression, especially early on, then see this as a sign of their character and end the relationship as soon as you can for your own safety. It’s important to stay alert of these things early to ensure that you don’t get too involved with someone who may be a suspect of domestic abuse.

Don’t feel pressured. Sadly, some people fetishise the idea of being trans. Something completely normal and something that a lot of people struggle with, can be a fetish for other people. If you are dating someone that feels this way, they may pressure you to have sex early on. Know your worth and don’t allow someone to use you for sexual intercourse if you feel it is too early. If you are in a situation where you feel like you are being used sexually because you are trans, act on it. There are plenty of people out there who will like you for you and not like you initially because you are trans. Find someone who loves you, but still accepts you’re trans rather than someone who loves that you’re trans and is mediocre about you as a person. 

From my own struggles with past relationships, I hope that these tips can help you and your love lives and ensure that you stay protected when it comes to these aspects in a relationship.

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